


Inconspicuous Gallantry

by baroque_mongoose



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Gen, Not The Usual Romantic Stuff, POV First Person, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3306701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baroque_mongoose/pseuds/baroque_mongoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>St Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and Agatha and Zeetha are both likely to receive gifts from admirers... but what about Violetta?  Mr Wooster decides that he would not like her to feel left out, and so he makes some discreet arrangements.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inconspicuous Gallantry

It was with something of a start that I realised we were now well into February, and that this, of course, meant the impending arrival of St Valentine's Day. This is not an occasion I normally celebrate, or even, to be honest, think about a great deal; I should certainly like to marry and settle down at some stage, but I must be practical. I shall have to find an alternative career before I do so, since it would be quite unfair to expect any woman to marry a spy.

However, this time I was travelling with three ladies, and that was going to make the situation rather interesting; perhaps, I feared, uncomfortably so. Master Gil would certainly find some way of delivering a Valentine gift to Lady Heterodyne, and, if she was really unlucky, she would also receive one from Martellus von Blitzengaard, who is not the best person at taking “no” for an answer. Zeetha would, without question, receive some interesting token from Mr Higgs; they are not the most romantic couple one could imagine, but, nonetheless, they always observe St Valentine's Day. Last time, he gave her a necklace made from the teeth of a number of von Blitzengaard's wolf constructs.

But then there was Violetta.

I was well aware that Violetta was missing Moloch von Zinzer, but none of us knew whether or not he returned her affections, and even if he did, he was trapped in Mechanicsburg (incidentally along with Tarvek Sturmvoraus, who would therefore not be adding to Lady Heterodyne's collection of Valentine gifts this year). The odds were that Violetta would not be getting anything, and it seemed a pity that she should miss out.

After some reflection, I decided I would quietly do something about that. I very much doubted that I would be found out, but, even if that happened, I was quite sure my intentions would not be misinterpreted. Violetta knows where I stand; we are good friends. Next time I went out, therefore, I paid a visit to a small shop specialising in fine chocolates, ordered a large customised box filled with Violetta's favourites, persuaded the assistant that I did not actually need the box to be heart-shaped, and arranged for it to be delivered on the day. That settled, I went about my remaining business with a lighter heart.

On the morning of St Valentine's Day, the first delivery was for Lady Heterodyne. It was a large, heavy box, and my first thought was that Master Gil had sent a clank; however, he is no fool. He clearly realised that Lady Heterodyne had lost most of her tools when the Wyrm of Limerick went down, and so the box turned out to contain the most comprehensive and indeed beautiful toolkit I have seen outside Castle Wulfenbach. Lady Heterodyne beamed.

“Oh, Gil,” she breathed.

Zeetha raised an eyebrow. “I know,” she said, “but don't go forgetting he's still a big danger.”

“I know he is, but... just _look_ at these! I've never had a set of screwdrivers with mahogany handles before. And the spanners are... eeeeeeee!”

“What?” asked Violetta.

“I've just found there's a whole set of components in the bottom of the box,” said Lady Heterodyne. “Oh, this is wonderful! Look at all the lovely brass cogs!”

“Yeah, he's got you pretty well sussed,” Krosp observed.

There was another knock at the door. “Parcel for a Miss Zeetha,” said a voice.

Zeetha opened the door and took the parcel, which was quite long and thin. This turned out to contain a couple of new leather sheaths for her Skifandrian swords. Mr Higgs had clearly made them himself, since they were each embossed with Zeetha's name on one side and a design of skulls on the other. “I have the best man ever,” she said, with a grin.

“What did you send him?” asked Violetta.

Zeetha laughed. “I'm not telling you in front of Wooster.”

Lady Heterodyne was already starting to build some device, and was consequently off in her own world. “Well,” said Violetta, “I suppose that's all the excitement over now. Maybe I ought to go and put the kettle on, what do you reckon?”

But at that moment, another messenger arrived. Zeetha, who was still nearest the door, accepted the parcel. “It'll be for Agatha, I expect,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Martellus still trying his luck. He so does not know when to stop.”

“Hey, wait,” said Violetta, looking at it. “It's not for Agatha. It's for me.”

Zeetha blinked. “So it is. Wonder who that's from?”

Violetta took the parcel from her and unwrapped it. “Oh, wow!” she said. “Chocolates. Awesome! And all my favourites, too.”

“That's great,” said Zeetha, surprised, “but it's also... really interesting. Hey, do you suppose Gil found some way to free Mechanicsburg?”

Violetta shook her head. “Nope. If he'd done that, Agatha would have got a Valentine gift from Tarvek, and she hasn't. Unless that one is from him, but I don't think so. It's not his style. Tarvek would try to build something really fancy to impress her.”

“Yeah, he would,” Zeetha agreed. “I suppose there's still time, though.”

“Tarvek would want to get in first, though,” Violetta pointed out. “He'd make sure his gift was delivered early. So I reckon Mechanicsburg is still trapped, and therefore this isn't from Herr von Zinzer, much as I'd like it to be.”

“So who do you think it's from, then?” asked Zeetha curiously.

“I don't know,” Violetta admitted. “But, hey. It's nice to be admired.”

“You know what I reckon?” said Krosp. “I reckon it's from Maxim. I think he has a bit of a thing for you.”

“That actually does make sense,” said Zeetha. “Jägers like strong, tough women, and don't I just know _all_ about that. And I can see why he'd go for you in particular. Shared love of purple, for one thing.”

“H'mm,” said Violetta. “I suppose it could be. Didn't get that impression myself, but I could be wrong. He could just be shy.”

Zeetha guffawed. “This is _Maxim_ we're talking about. He's about as shy as I am.”

“Well, there's shy and shy,” Violetta replied. “Anyway, we don't know. I have a nice box of chocolates. Maybe we'll leave it at that... oh, that's the door again.”

Zeetha opened it. “Is there a Mr Wooster here?” asked the messenger.

I rose to my feet, startled. “Yes,” I replied.

“Parcel for you, sir.”

“Good heavens!”

It was not a very large parcel, but when I opened it, I found it contained a pair of plain gold-plated cufflinks, the sort I always wear. Zeetha grinned from ear to ear.

“I think someone's been keeping very quiet about something,” she said.

“I assure you I haven't,” I replied. “I haven't the faintest idea who sent these, but I can assure you they are very well appreciated. I was wanting a spare pair.”

“Maybe DuPree's decided she loves you really?” said Zeetha, teasingly.

I shuddered. “I very much doubt it. And if she did, I should still be inclined to run away from her very fast.”

“Yeah,” said Violetta. “Trying to kill someone isn't usually a good basis for a romance, Zeetha.”

“Isn't your boss in England a woman?” asked Zeetha. “I mean, she'd know where you are. And there can't be many people who do.”

“Yes, she is, but she's married,” I replied.

“Doesn't stop some people,” Zeetha pointed out.

“It stops me,” I replied, “and she's well aware of that fact.”

“H'mm,” said Violetta. “Well, you know what? I think someone ought to put the kettle on, because the way Agatha's going right now, if we don't get a drink down her soon we're not going to be able to.”

“I'll do it,” said Zeetha. “Oh, and Krosp, you come with me. Seems a bit unfair you're the only one here not getting a treat. I'm going to open a tin of salmon.”

“Hey,” said Krosp. “I like the way you think.” He followed her out of the room.

When they were out of earshot, Violetta looked at me and grinned. “Someone who knows where I am, and what my favourite chocolates are,” she said. “Not Maxim, I think. He might guess where I was, but he wouldn't remember about the chocolates.”

“H'mm,” I replied. “Someone who knows where I am, and the fact that I was wanting a spare set of cufflinks. Not DuPree, I think.”

“You didn't want me to be left out, did you?” she said. “That was... just incredibly sweet of you, Wooster. I really appreciate it.”

“Well, it appears I can say the same to you,” I replied, with a smile. “Thank you.”

“Don't mention it. Did it ever occur to you at any point that you'd forgotten all about yourself? If I had been left out, I wouldn't have been the only person. There was also you.”

“Well, ah, the same does apply in your own case,” I reminded her.

“Yeah. Well... yeah,” she admitted.

I bowed. “I very much hope you get a real Valentine gift next year, Violetta.”

“You cared enough not to want me to feel left out. I reckon that's pretty real, don't you?”

“Well, you know what I mean, I think,” I said.

“Yeah. You mean a Valentine gift from an actual boyfriend.”

I nodded.

“What about you, though? No romance on the horizon?”

“At the moment, I fear I am married to my job,” I replied. “I shall have to divorce it before I start looking for any more conventional romance.”

“You should,” she said, seriously. “It's kind of abusive.”

“We'll see what happens when we reach England,” I replied. “In the meantime... ah... happy St Valentine's Day.”


End file.
